CONTENTION

In the aftermath of a harrowing event, when our feelings are left raw and we have a belly-full of discomfort -- when we are anguished by our inability to effect a change in the dreaded outcome -- when we are desperately trying to quiet our desperation in the face of overwhelming feelings of helplessness -- when all actions are useless and deeds are meaningless and yet we are driven by the pain that is the motor of the very instinct that ensures our survival -- when there is no other pathway to inner peace, 

WE TURN ON EACH OTHER

and fight over this and that, aimlessly, recklessly, passionately as we attempt to comfort ourselves at the expense of others.

Pro-this vs anti-that; freedom vs security; less-filling vs tastes-great -- pick your battle. Our skirmishes are just attempts to quiet the desperate helplessness that we do NOT want to feel. Winning a little verbal argument makes us feel like we are in control of our lives and our world, once again.

So go ahead and fight over gun control, (or abortion, or taxes, or drug use, or religion, or politics, etc) and bring to bear all the passion-distorted "evidence" that you want. I know you're hurting and you just need to get it out. I am your comrade, your friend, your brother. I feel it, too. I understand.

You are safe with me. I am your therapist.

Tip of the Week: Reasonable Goals

A key to success is to set reasonable goals for yourself. It is easy to be overwhelmed by focusing on too much and too many, too soon. Overly big goals can be broken-down into smaller, more manageable steps that are easily accomplished.

And when you are really in a slump and feel as though you just cannot do anything worthwhile, make it basic and keep it simple: wake up at the time that you promised yourself, and make your bed. Nothing succeeds like success.