How do we see the world? We see it through the filter of our own preconceived beliefs and expectations; we understand it within the context of our own previously established sensitivities and fears. Often we draw inaccurate conclusions and make wrong interpretations because of our prior learning.
It is so normal for our perception to be skewed that it is the source of much study by psychologists. One interesting phenomenon of cognitive distortion has come to be called confirmation bias. There are many little evidences for the truthfulness of this nearly-universal human behavior, even in your own life.
If you are a type "A" personality that never feels that they have done enough and that there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done, then you remember that when your boss / or pastor / or political leader / or family member made comments about your performance, that you then felt prompted to do more; you felt goaded by their statements of demands (no matter how politely stated); you felt scolded by their accusations that you didn't do a good enough job already; you felt guilted into a re-doubling of your efforts.
On the other hand, if you are a type "B" personality that never really feels the pressure that your counterpart seems to feel and knows that everything will work out just fine in the end, then you remember that when your boss / or pastor / or political leader / or family member made comments about your performance that you felt a great sense of ease and congratulated yourself for all of your hard work and you then decided that you probably needed a break and could stop working so hard.
When the boss / or pastor / or political leader / or family member says, "you did a great job, keep up the good work!" we hear what we are expecting to hear. One person hears "work harder" while the other hears "you've done enough."
And what do you hear when you read what Christ said to the adulteress who was accused by the Pharisee hypocrites?
(New Testament | John 8:10 - 11)
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
Do you hear "I do not condemn thee" or do you hear "go and sin no more?"
Wouldn't it be better if we could hear them both? Wouldn't if be better if we were aware of our own biases and took measures to counter them?
Learn, understand, change, and grow.
It is so normal for our perception to be skewed that it is the source of much study by psychologists. One interesting phenomenon of cognitive distortion has come to be called confirmation bias. There are many little evidences for the truthfulness of this nearly-universal human behavior, even in your own life.
If you are a type "A" personality that never feels that they have done enough and that there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done, then you remember that when your boss / or pastor / or political leader / or family member made comments about your performance, that you then felt prompted to do more; you felt goaded by their statements of demands (no matter how politely stated); you felt scolded by their accusations that you didn't do a good enough job already; you felt guilted into a re-doubling of your efforts.
On the other hand, if you are a type "B" personality that never really feels the pressure that your counterpart seems to feel and knows that everything will work out just fine in the end, then you remember that when your boss / or pastor / or political leader / or family member made comments about your performance that you felt a great sense of ease and congratulated yourself for all of your hard work and you then decided that you probably needed a break and could stop working so hard.
When the boss / or pastor / or political leader / or family member says, "you did a great job, keep up the good work!" we hear what we are expecting to hear. One person hears "work harder" while the other hears "you've done enough."
And what do you hear when you read what Christ said to the adulteress who was accused by the Pharisee hypocrites?
(New Testament | John 8:10 - 11)
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
Do you hear "I do not condemn thee" or do you hear "go and sin no more?"
Wouldn't it be better if we could hear them both? Wouldn't if be better if we were aware of our own biases and took measures to counter them?
Learn, understand, change, and grow.
